A Man Named Dana

Another week without news about me. I hope you haven't been too lost. Ha.

What have I been up to lately? Work. Cooking. Relaxing. Generally, being productive only when I have something to do. When I'm without focus or objective I do nothing but laze about watching television.

I feel like I've totally lost vision for my life. Perhaps I never really had much to begin with, but as I age I find that its really important to know where you're going, otherwise its just another day on the merry-go-round of life. One more day seems pretty much like the one before it in my world.

I haven't been anywhere for a while, nor have I seen any films, read any books, or made any productive improvements in my life. I suspect that most people fall into this category too, but they're just afraid to admit it. The pure boredom of life isn't a pretty subject; we tend to ignore the dull parts and remember the excitement. But when all is empty and dull you can appreciate the situation much more clearly. Life is like a box of chocolates: there's only a limited amount ingredients you can put in the box and once you've had a few hundred boxes they pretty much taste the same.

It's halftime and I'm way behind. The gameplan? Play catch-up and hope for overtime.

Ha. I'm back.

Yep, I've decided to stick around the blog world for a longer. Hell, if I get to suffer through this life (at least in my own mind) then you deserve to suffer along with me.


I hope you're all keeping up with the latest adventures of Spirit, the little Mars rover that seems to be defeating the curse of the Red Planet. It's cool to download the latest pix and read the press releases. Put a bookmark on it so you can check it out daily--I do.

Meanwhile, keep tuned into Food Network; tomorrow night is the premeire of a few new shows you might enjoy. I know I'll be setting my VDR to catch them every week.

As long as there's nothing exciting in the local multiplex what else do you have to do?

Yes, it has been a very, long, long, long time since I've posted. I tried posting on New Years' Eve but the amount of web traffic obliterated my post.

I've been wrestling with the idea of continuing this blog or abandoning it to the four winds as with so many things I do. But giving this up would only prove that I can't keep things going. I don't know if I can change that habit at this point in the game, but its important to me to keep up the illusion of being able to make a difference in my routine by altering even the smallest detail.

Does anything I say here really matter or is it all just wasted hard drive space somewhere out there in cyberspace? I've heard from a number of you that I'm too negative on this blog--that I only complain about stuff and/or that I seem so sad in all my posts. Golly, if that's true then what's the point of me airing my brain out here on this site? If you don't like me as I am here then what good is any of this?

I have to be who I am or else this journal is pure crap; just another testament to my life of lies and shit. If anything, this blog only solidifies my position that I'm not in control of anything--that I'm only here to satisfy everyone else's needs. What is it that you want from me? Who do you want me to be? Please tell me so I can be who you want me to be, because its so obvious even to a guy like me that what I am isn't what any of you want.

Where do I go from here?

I don't know.

Whatever it is I'm sure I'll end up disappointing some of you and, ultimately, myself.

Why does all of this have to be so hard? Where's the easy road in life?

If anyone has the answers I'd really like to hear them. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to think. How can I make you happy? Where should I go?

Please let me know. I'll be anything and anyone you want.

Many of you may wonder why I'm so negative on this blog all the time.

My life is what it is and I try and call it like I see it without a lot of false emotion or perceptions.

I'm glad its a new year. The last one sucked beyond belief. I honestly don't think things could have turned out any worse than they did in my world during 2003. No need to review here, believe me, it was bad enough without having to revisit those moments again.

Of course I always think that a new year will bring about a fresh start, but in reality, all I'm doing is just pushing all the crap from one year to the next without changing much of anything.

Well, I suppose I'd better put a cap on this day--I just finished a 14+ hour day at the theatre and I get to do it all over again tomorrow.

I hope your new year begins well!